When I met him, I knew I wouldnt be able to dislike anyone as much as I disliked him. I loathed the way he carried himself, so arrogant and so ... impossible to deal with. His sarcasim was annoying and the only thing he had going for him was he was cute and could be funny...at times. Other than that the man drove me crazy when he spoke. I could feel myself getting frustrated when he would talk and make conversation with others. I honestly cant pinpoint was it was that got under my skin when I met him but all I knew was I did not like him very much. As time passed and work grew more into a comfortable atmosphere I got more comfortable with him and the way he was. My hatred for him became less and less and before I knew it I was starting to actually like the guy. Not in that way of course, just likeable in a way that I could actually deal with his presents which was different from before seeing as how I just hated being in the same room with him.
My mom says chruch changes everything and I honestly thought she was retarded but turns out shes right. One "date" of us going to church was what it took for me to realize I liked the guy which was strange for me. I found myself wondering what he would be wearing as I got ready for the service and wondering what he would think when he saw me in the only cute dress I had at the time. My mind raced once the doorbell rang and I saw him standing there in a much different light than I saw him before. I acted like I didnt care, I didnt want to like him. I knew it was weird, well, for me anyways. I found myself actually caring about his opinions and caring what he thought about me. CARING. I actaully cared about him which, like I said is weird because Ive never given myself to a man like I have given myself to him. Its going to be a year today and there are times where I just stare at him and realize that this is what my mom told me about when I was a little girl. This is love, this is what fairytales are built on and Im lucky enough to have it. I am in love with a man who I couldnt stand when I met him and now, I find myself wondering what hes doing every second of the day and trying things I have NEVER tried befrore. At some times, I wonder if I should put myself out there that much. Its been a year and Im barely getting used to him. I cant tell when hes joking or when hes serious. I cant tell when hes hurt or confused and thast frustrating for me. Its going to be a year and I can honestly say ive thought about (as crazy as it sounds) waking up to him when im older and still being happy. Ha, thats crazy huh? Its been one year and I have learned more things with him that make me a better person and a smarter person. He teaches me things he thinks isnt important and tells me Im beautiful. Hes the only man that ive let actually SEE me. Hes the first man that I know god meant for me to meet, if that makes sense. Its been a year and I cant help but stop and smile everytime he walks toward me. I secertly smell him when he hugs me and want to bathe in his sent. Its been a year that Ive been in love with the man I hated when I met him. Guess everything isnt like they seem to be at the begining huh?
